I knew I had suffered from depression for most of my life.
After all, I had suffered trauma throughout my childhood,
and was a troubled child.
A 'little shit' some would call me.
I remember many of my childhood years were spent feeling extremely lonely, either gazing out the window waiting for other children to come to the park so I could go out and socialise,
or simply spent crying and dwelling over my life.
I would cry about my body, I was obese, and bullied severely by my family.
I would cry about how lonely I was.
All I wanted was a community.
If the family came over, I would cry in loneliness when they left,
or sometimes hide their shoes, because in my mind, if they had no shoes, they would have to stay longer, or maybe even stay the night. A dream come true for me.
Therefore, I was a 'little shit'.
As I grew older I realised what I was suffering with was depression.
But never did I consider that I may have anxiety.
Until I was having sever issues with taking a breathe.
Could ANXIETY be causing my breathing issues?
I suffered with it for years without even knowing.
I felt like I literally could not breathe for 3-4 years.
It was the most frustrating thing and it made me MORE anxious.
Try taking half a breath.
Again, and again, and again.
Feel like you can’t breathe right?
Yeah. It’s F$&@&ed tbh 😬
“Anxiety? What? no, I don’t have anxiety”
After seeing multiple lung specialists and many tests they politely hinted it may be anxiety.
This was the point I started to accept it.
Then, one day, my breathing was okay
I heard somebody abusing their child.
Suddenly I couldn’t breathe,
my heart rate rose.
This is when I officially realised
my breathing issues
were due to anxiety.
It’s a long road towards listening to my body,
but it’s a rewarding one.
you can have everything.
But just not today 😘