Gaining weight was the best thing that ever happened to my me. It threw me in the deep end and I had to learn to love myself how I was and enjoy my life right now. I changed my mentality from ‘I must be thin to be happy’ to ‘I must be happy’. Even when I was a healthy weight for a long time, I still thought of myself as ‘fat’ and never wanted to go out because I thought I didn’t look ‘good’ or ‘skinny’. This went on from about the age of 16. I spent most of my time in my room crying about my life, my weight and my problems. Even when I was thinner, my mental health was so bad. Going through such massive weight gain forced me to stop running away from my problems and fix my mental health issues for good! The reason I gained all the weight was because all my years of depression and emotional self abuse had caught up on me. I gave up on myself and figured I may as well stop trying. After gaining all the weight (60kgs in about 8 months), it took me a long time to transition into my new body. I didn’t recognise myself in the mirror. People didn’t recognise me. It was a really difficult time. I got to a point after gaining the weight where I had to make a decision. I could either continue on in a deep depression, disassociated from society, and only bringing myself joy from food and Netflix, OR I could completely change my life. I had such little trust in myself to make such big changes my life. After all of the trauma I had been through, all the bad decisions I had made, the millions of times I’d failed, and all the emotional abuse I had inflicted on myself, there was LUCKILY still a small fire in the pit of my belly that was yet to be distinguished. I decided to embark on a journey to change my life! I decided I would do whatever it took to create the life of my dreams. I knew I was starting from scratch and it all seemed so far away.. but I was determined. I looked at weight loss surgery at this time, I did all the consults and was set on getting it, BUT, there was something inside telling me not to...
Discovering the power of my mind. For the first time in my life, I listened to my intuition and decided surgery (at this time) wasn't the option for me. I KNEW my problem wasn't 'losing weight'. My problem was my mental health, my attitude, and my lifestyle. Pretty much everything had to change. After some time, I found success using the equation of combining external + internal factors to reach my goals. I started making massive achievements in all areas of my life. Making amazing friends, waking up excited, finding my purpose, feeling energetic, and so much more. I also started feeling happiness again. Something that I had failed to feel for years prior. Some of the biggest lessons I learned were: ⭐️Finding your tribe is important. The ones who you love, and who love you. The ones who leave your soul on fire after you’ve been with them. Yeah, those people. ⭐️Your mind. Your mind is a core part of your being and if you aren’t constantly working on your personal growth, well look at it this way. If a plant isn’t growing, it’s dying. It’s the same for your mind. ⭐️You’re everyday habits. These allow you to not only feel good and accomplished on a day to day basis, but also allow you to make progress towards those big life goals. As Tony Robbins says… “The key to happiness, is progress”. ⭐️Challenging limiting beliefs. Limiting beliefs are things you believe that could be holding you back from living your best life. Some common limiting beliefs are… I’m too young/too old to do that, Working in a full time job is the only option, I can’t afford it etc…. ⭐️ Your body doesn’t control your happiness. Whether it’s acne, fat, crooked teeth, or saggy boobs….. They have nothing to do with your happiness. Your happiness all starts with your mind. ⭐️ Once you start focusing on yourself, you won’t give a flying saucer what anyone else thinks. All you will see is your pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. People telling you it’s not there? That shit doesn’t phase you. You know you’re getting the gold no matter what.
So why AM I getting weight loss surgery?
Aren’t I a plus size body positivity blogger? Yes. Did you know that all bodies are good bodies, no matter what size? Isn’t this against everything I’m about? Nope. I’m all for chasing your dreams and goals based on what you think is best for you, not what others think is best for you. I wanted to share more about why I’m getting this surgery to help others, especially plus sized girls know WHY exactly I’m cutting out half of my stomach. I am in no way sharing these things to justify my decision amongst the tonnes of backlash I have received. This is purely to help others on their journey. 👊The first reason I am going to share is something I have been self-conscious about for a long time. It's something I have never shared publicly before but here I go! I suffer from a disorder call 'tubular breasts'. Tubular breasts are a result of a abnormality during growth in puberty. Basically, the breasts fail to develop normally and fully. Google has plenty of juicy pics if you'd like to have a peak. This is something that I have struggled with for a lot of my life. Not only in my love life, but personally as well. No bras fit me properly, and wearing a bra gives me serious shoulder and back pain. Since gaining weight, my breasts are now even more of an issue. One of my goals with getting the sleeve is going to be a breast lift and augmentation. I HATE BRAS and just want to burn them all and let my future titties be free. I also really wanted to share this because I have no doubt in my mind that many other women suffer from the same disorder, and I want you all to know, you are beautiful, and I can tell you now, my past partners have never had a problem with my breasts. The problem has always been my own. 👊Achieving food freedom 👊I am recovering from a long term back injury and my extra weight IS NOT HELPING. 👊I’m a super active person. My weight has really impacted my agility and my body isn’t coping. These are the MAIN reasons for my deicison to get gastric sleeve surgery, but there are so many more. Do you guys have any questions? Feel free to drop them below!